It can be a heart wrenching thing to know your child is the victim of bullying. The most distressing part is trying to figure out what to do.
You may want to get involved, but as a parent you’re not sure how to proceed.
If you go to the school and confront the bully, his teachers, and his parents, you run the risk of ostracizing your child even more. The bully may promise to stop in front of his or her parents and teachers. But there’s no way to know if they’ll keep their word.
And if word gets out that you came to your child’s defense, other kids might tease them even more for being a cry-baby or “mama’s boy.”
And if you leave it alone and just things run their course, nothing is going to change. It is unlikely that your child will suddenly develop the skills to handle this issue or that the bully will suddenly have a change of heart.
In order to cope with this issue, here are a few strategies and ideas you can use to help your child (and you) deal with bullying.
- Suggest to your child to make new friends and hang out with them more often. You child should especially be around these friends at the primary bullying opportunities i.e. after school and during recess.
- Even though it may cause negative repercussions, it is still a good idea to talk to the officials at your child’s school, especially the principal. The principal has more authority and power to take action in the case of bullying.
- Invite your child’s friends to meet and socialize outside of school. If your child has friends and a healthy social life away from the schoolyard, this may boost their self-confidence and help them stand up to bullies.
- Get your child involved in sports, martial arts, and other extra-curricular activities. Especially outside of school. Once again, this goes towards building self-esteem and confidence.
- If your child is the bully, talk to them and help them understand how bullying makes other kids feel. Don’t brush it aside with a simple “kids will be kids” idea. Take it seriously; no one wants to be the parent of the schoolyard bully.
There are many other things you as a parent can do to curtail bullying. The most important thing you can do is be empathetic towards your child and look out for the warning signs.
And be careful not to react too emotionally. Your child needs you to be rational, logical, and understanding. They are dealing with enough emotions of their own. Too much emotion may turn them off and discourage them from opening up to you in the future.
And most important, take it seriously. Too many lives have been shattered and ruined because of bullying. Don’t think it’s a onetime thing or something to help your child toughen up. No one deserves to be tormented and bullied.
Take action now and be proactive about stopping bullies and bullying.